Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Hypochondria anyone?

Yesterday on the way home after picking Middle Chicklet up from track practice.

MC - "Mom, I think I have type 2 diabetes."

Me - "WHAT?! Why would you think that?"

MC - "We are studying about it in Health (why, I'm not exactly sure, but ok). I have 4 out of the 5 symptoms."

Me - "Honey, you just had your physical. You don't have diabetes."

MC - "Listen. One symptom is extreme thirst. I'm thirsty all the time. Don't you see how many Dr. Peppers I drink a day?" (Really? Dr. Peppers?!)

Me - "Drinking Dr. Pepper won't help with your thirst. It makes you more thirsty. The concern would be if you were drinking gallons of water and couldn't quench your thirst."

MC - "You aren't listening. Next symptom. Frequent urination. I peed like 4 times today."

Me - "It's 5:30. You've been up since 6:30 am. I would hope you've gone 4 times today."

MC - "Mom, this is serious. Why aren't you listening? OK. Maybe this one will get your attention. Rapid weight loss."

Me - "You don't gain weight because you are your father's kid, and you have a high metabolism (damn you!). You aren't LOSING weight. Son, you JUST had a phyical (didn't I already say this??) The doctor would have caught this.

MC - (PISSED now) "You and the doctor don't know anything! My health teacher (Yes, son, the one who completed SO much medical training!!!) said I really needed to discuss it with you. Fine. What about THIS one?! Extreme fatigue."

Me - "Let's see. Could that possibly be from staying up until all hours playing XBox Live?"

MC - "I knew you wouldn't believe me. You never believe me. I guess I'll just die from diabetes."

Does anyone wonder why I drink?


  1. I am the same way - I once convinced myself that I had Celiac Disease. Al has forbidden me from googling symptoms. WebMD and I are not friends!

  2. LOL!! You, of all people, being a teacher, should know that teachers ALWAYS know best (unless they're the parent talking to their child. I was a teacher too - I remember . . . :-))

  3. OMGosh us parents are so stupid and don't know anything! LOL

    I'll have a glass of wine ready you come right over :). I need one too!!!

  4. That could be my son, I swear! I'm sure he'll be telling me he has diabetes any day now!

  5. LOL! hi stopping by from SITS. Children, you gotta love them. and they grow up all too soon - the sad part is they will always think they know more than you (or anybody older and with more experience than them). Have a great day.

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  7. I just scared the cat from laughing! That convo resembles what goes on here. LMAO I love that he doesn't relate the constant Dr. Pepper drinks to the constant need to pee. Hilarious!


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