Monday, March 30, 2009

Questions from Baby Chicklet

We've spent the past two days outside Birmingham, Alabama for a viewing and funeral.

Pumpkin's stepdad's mother, Kathleen, passed away Saturday. She was 91.

Isn't it bizarre how you look at your loved one lying in the casket and say they are beautiful? Well, she was. She wore a lovely pink suit with a pink corsage. Her casket was covered with a pink and white floral blanket. For the first time in two years, she didn't look frail or weak.

She looked beautiful.

Baby Chicklet is 4. This is only the 2nd time she's been to a funeral home. The first, which she doesn't even remember, and sadly never will, was for my dad's memorial service 2 years ago. But he was cremated, so no body.

Kathleen was buried which entailed a viewing and funeral.

We've never had to discuss death with her and what it REALLY means.

It's hard enough to explain to an older child, much less a 4 year old.

Needless to say, there were LOTS of questions.

On the way to the viewing yesterday...

BC - "Where are we going?"

Us - "The funeral home in Oneonta to see Kathleen."

BC - "Is that where the blue ice cream is?"

Us - "No, that's the Chinese restaurant. This is where Kathleen will be for us to say goodbye to her."

BC - "Why are we saying goodbye? Is she going somewhere?"

Us - "She's already gone, KK. She's in Heaven with Jesus."

BC - "Well how can we look at her if she's in Heaven?"

Us - "Her body is still here but her heart and spirit are gone. They are in Heaven with Jesus."

BC - "Will she come back next year?"

Us - "No, honey. She won't ever come back."

BC - "Oh."

Later at the viewing...

BC - "Can she wave to me?"

Us - "No, baby. She can't wave."

BC - "Where are her legs?"

Us - "They are under the flowers that are lying on top of the casket."

BC - "Oh."

Today, before the funeral and the closing of the casket...

BC - "I wanna go see Kathleen again."

Us - "OK."

BC - "Mommy, she's pinkalicious."

Mommy - "Yes, sweet girl, she IS pinkalicious."

24 comments:

  1. No better compliment in my eyes!
    At least she isn't afraid!

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  2. what a sweet, sweet little one.

    And good for you, for having such a smart little one to ask these questions!

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  3. Such a sweet little girl. I hope some day someone finds me to be pinkalicious.

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  4. What a sweet little thing! Pinkalicious is the best compliment ever!

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  5. Such a hard and confusing topic for a kid that age. My 4 year old keeps asking about my brother who died before my kids were born. He has no concept of death...I think a viewing would make more sense to him.
    Love the pinkalicious comment!

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  6. I'm almost afraid to comment because I have such a sick sense of humor and tend to laugh at the oddest moments but I'm here for ya so here goes. Those questions and the pinkalicious comment would have made me crack up. We just went to my uncles funeral not to long ago and I got alot of questions from my little ones too. Unfortunatley we have had been to many funerals the past couple of years. My friends always ask me if I'm taking the girls and my answer is always yes. That's the way my family is, we all go.

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  7. Hi, just stopping by from SITS! That was a really touching funny post- my little sister is 4 and my Grandfather just passed away. While we were at the wake, she kept whispering in my ear, "Grandpa is in the box". Kids are just SO honest! She asked a lot of questions as well, I didn't envy my dad and step mom when they had to explain death to her for the first time. But parents always know what to say!

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  8. Just getting caught up on all of your Tweets and posts today. I have to say that it is so wonderful to see the entire blogging community supporting MckMama and her family through this trying time. Thank you for your heartfelt posts. I too have been sending my thoughts and prayers out for Stellan.

    -Francesca

    PS: Sometimes kids exactly what we need to hear. :)

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  9. Hi.
    Just stopping by from SITS to say hello.
    Have a great Tuesday!

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  10. Aww-sounds like she handled it all very well...love the pinkalicious, very sweet!

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  11. Aww-such a sweet convo with your girl.
    So sorry for your loss...I love saying pinkalicious. We say that all the time around here.

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  12. Kids have the most interesting ideas and questions about things.

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  13. This post was so poignant and touching and, oddly, funny. What a sweet and intelligent child you have. I think you did a fantastic job of making it real, but not scary for her. I hope you are at peace with Kathleen's passing.

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  14. I just want to hug her up! What a sweet baby. (yes, you know 4 is still a baby). They try so hard to understand things and it's amazing how much they can take in.

    Monsoon asked me, when he was 2, if the person in the casket (a HS friend of Hubby's) was taking a nap. When I said no, he asked, "Why his eyes shut?"

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  15. She's so sweet. Give her a big hug from me.

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  16. Wow, what a sweet heart! Pinkaliscious? I love kids!

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  17. Pickaliscious is adorable. :)

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  18. Pinkalicious...that is simply beautiful! What a very sweet tender moment! (and what a wonderful darling girl:)

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  19. I've had it go both ways. I never went up near a casket until my in-laws and my own dad died last year. I thought my MIL looked perfectly beautiful but it hurt me to see the others.

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  20. Oh that was a good laugh at the expense of a funeral!

    "Blue ice cream"

    "where are her legs"

    "Can she wave at me"

    "pinkalicious"

    hilarious!!!

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  21. Stopping by from SITS to say have a great Thursday!

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  22. That is so sweet. My mother-in-law passed a couple of weeks ago and kids do have alot of questions. I am glad she looked so beautiful. BTW I found your blog from another and wanted to tell you how cute it is. I love the flip-flops.

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  23. Stopping by from SITS to say Hi!

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  24. Thanks for all the comments and love. We have a wonderful family and in times of sorrow humor does help. It always seems to come from a child at the right time. Kaley is special.

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